Searching for the right nursing home for your loved one can be difficult. You want them to know how much you love and care about them, but you may have to let them know that you’re doing this for them — not to them. Assisted living residences are there for your loved one’s benefit, and not a place for them to just wait out their remaining years.

That’s the most common misconception when it comes to nursing homes: that everyone there is just walking around, sad and depressed, wishing they were younger. Sure, we all wish we were a few years younger, but these facilities are actually wonderful places for seniors to live. They aren’t just passing time, they are spending time making even more memories.

The important part, aside from carefully talking to your parent or loved one about these facilities, is finding one that fits them.

Here are a few things to look for when searching for nursing homes for your elderly loved one.

Freedom
The best assisted living centers encourage their residents to be as independent as possible while living there, and that includes the freedom to do what they want with their time and pursue the lifestyle of their choice. Just because someone is not in their twenties, that doesn’t mean they don’t still have hopes, dreams, passions and ideas. When looking for an assisted living facility for your loved one, make sure they provide residents the freedom and encouragement to pursue these goals, and that there’s something more to do besides hourly bingo games — unless that’s your loved one’s passion, of course.

Self-Sufficiency
Many seniors pride themselves on being self-sufficient. They worked hard when they were younger to carve out a living, raise their kids, and achieve the American dream. Now, it may be a little more difficult for them to perform their everyday activities, but they still need the freedom to try. The best assistance living strategy is to let them have the freedom to be self-sufficient, but provide help when needed. We’ve all seen the good days and the bad days seniors can have. It’s completely normal and it’s part of growing older. Giving them freedom to do what they can is just as important as helping them when they struggle.

Lively Environment
Again, just because nursing homes are full of seniors, that doesn’t mean that everyone is just sitting around quietly, reading the newspaper and complaining about “music nowadays.” Engaging conversations can still be had, fun games can still be played, and entertaining and lively environments are basically a must for a successful assisted living facility.